Using this space to share
Presenting my thoughts and ideas on the Internet has been a huge source of internal conflict for me over the years. It wasn’t always this way. In fact, the Internet was a place where I explored and discovered myself as a teenager. It used to be easy for me to share and express myself.
I’ve recognized that this is a blockage that has been holding me back from experiencing my full reality. I write a lot in paper journals but that remains contained in a place that doesn’t get out into the universe.
I also get stuck in processes. “Okay I’m going to write and share it with the world…. but where do I share?” I start to overthink it all. I should start a blog, I should create a newsletter, and an email list, and who will be on the email list and what kinds of things would I put in the newsletter? Should I just include a snippet of writing that links them to a longer story on my blog? Etc etc.
Then I realize: I’ve detracted from my original intention of sharing myself for my own need of self-expression and have now made it about processes and other people. I’m stressing myself out over things that don’t actually matter.
I want to work on this. and I want to work on it in a space where I’m not isolating myself or shaming myself for not living up to often high and crazy standards that I hold for myself.
So this is my attempt to work on some areas in my life that could use some more thought, dedication and focus (writing, communication, self-expression, knowledge/info sharing)
For now I’m going to start small and use Medium as a place to do my longer writings and idea processing. I’m not going to stress about newsletters and all that, because if that’s something that is meant to happen it will unfold itself organically as I begin this journey of sharing more of myself with the world.
Also, I want to recognize and celebrate the areas where I actually DO share myself already (sometimes we can give ourselves a narrative that isn’t completely true and we overlook the positives and just focus on the things we aren’t doing).
I love sharing photos on my Instagram and tend to share more on Instagram stories (maybe because knowing it goes away in 24 hours relieves the pressure of having to be ‘perfect’). I like to use Twitter as a space to play with words, thoughts and ideas in real time. I share ideas for poems, song lyrics and positive affirmations. So I can build off of these things.
As I am writing this, a red headed woodpecker appeared in the tree outside my window. I believe that birds (and all animals and all things in general) are sent to us to deliver messages. I looked up the symbolism of what this bird represents and found that woodpeckers are strongly rooted in communication and opportunity (!!). “When the woodpecker shows up in our lives, it’s a good time to get clever about how we communicate our needs to reach our best advantage”.
How appropriate! While I’m over here writing about my intention to communicate better a bird that symbolizes exactly that shows up to say hello. Sounds like the universe is listening! :)
